Patriarchal Blessing Affirmations

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*I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon).  This post might not make much sense if you aren't a member of my church.  

I feel like I have always been interested in self improvement, but the past 4 years or so, I have really been passionate about personal growth and development.  Throughout these past few years, something that I have learned more about are affirmations and the power of words.  When I first started my morning routine 2 years ago, I was thinking about how I could make the Affirmations portion of my routine personal and meaningful.  

The idea came to me to take my Patriarchal Blessing and put the statements into affirmation format.   i.e. “You are a daughter of God”, I would change to “I am a daughter of God.” “You have been blessed with choice qualities” I would change to “I have been blessed with choice qualities.” 

I then recorded myself (using a recorder app on my phone) saying these affirmations from my Patriarchal Blessing. I try to listen to this recording during my morning routine (not always every morning, but as often as I want to). 

Listening to this, especially in my own voice, is really special. 

It helps me to see myself the way that God sees me. It helps me to see who I REALLY am deep inside (even if I don't always act in accordance with those qualities). 

It also gives me so much excitement to see who I am going to be someday (as long as I do my part to strengthen those qualities within me). 

It is also a reminder of the things that I should be working on in my own personal life.  Reading my Patriarchal Blessing (and/or listening to these Patriarchal Blessing affirmations) often helps me to look at my life and take an inventory. If I continue to live how I am living, will I reach the promised blessings that are in my Patriarchal Blessing?   (see this talk)

A tidbit from my journal (from a few weeks ago)...

Back in April 2015, I wrote down the statements from my patriarchal blessing in an affirmation format. And then I recorded myself reading those affirmations. I hadn't listened to this recording for quite a while, but I decided to listen to it this morning. I had a great experience as I listened to my own voice, telling me about who I really am. It was neat to get that glimpse of who I am at my divine core, and how I will be in my thoughts/words/actions someday, as I do what Heavenly Father wants me to do, and learn the things that He wants me to learn along the way.

Defining Daily Success in Motherhood

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I was just thinking today (after watching a Instagram live video of Kelly Jensen (I follow her on Instagram and she is so inspiring to me.) She was talking about just doing your best as a mom and not allowing all the mom guilt into your life. Another thing that she mentioned was our kids are the perfect kids for us and we are the perfect moms for them. So it doesn't matter what other moms do for their kids - if they go on more adventures, have bigger birthday parties, do more crafts, etc. Maybe our kids don't need those things as much as those other kids do, and maybe the things that we uniquely offer to our kids are the things that they need and they have the right mom to provide those experiences for them. I like that. It minimizes the mom comparison trap that we get stuck in a lot.

Another thing that she mentioned was that the most important thing is that everyday, is that we express to our kids that we love them and that we're cheering them on. We can take their faces in our hands and really talk to them and really listen to them. Everyday. I really liked that and feel like I could improve a lot in this area.

So then I was thinking that it would probably be helpful for me to define what success looks like to me on a daily basis as far as mothering goes. What is something that, if that were the only good thing I did all day (even if I completely bombed it in all other areas), that would make me a successful mother? And then after I define what that one thing is and work towards accomplishing it every day, then I can just try my best in all of the other areas, but when I fail, give myself grace and compassion and know that I am trying...and that I am still successful.

So I think that the thing that I am going to do everyday is to get down, at eye level, with each of my kids individually and tell them at least one thing that I love and appreciate about them. And then give them a hug. This is such a small thing - but yet a big thing at the same time. I want my children to know that I love them. And this doesn't take a lot of time, just a couple minutes for each child.

At the end of each day, if I have done this one thing, then I will have succeeded at mothering that day. And if I do more good mom things that day, then those are just bonuses. :)

Sola Sig: To Sun Oneself

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So last night was my monthly learning circle meeting with my friends (a handful of us get together once a month to talk about motherhood and learn from each other.) We read and discussed an article about breathing in the good moments and exhaling the rough moments. Recognizing that each moment is just a moment. They all pass. So we should savor the good moments and really breath them in. And we should process the bad moments and realize that they will pass.

I always enjoy our monthly meetings but I especially enjoyed this one. It was really uplifting. Something that we did was go around and each talk about a moment that we can remember from our life where we really breathed in that moment. It was neat to hear everyone's moments and feel how special they were to each of them.

I also mentioned about how during my morning routine, I sit at the table, facing the mountain (the big sliding door window is across from the table where I sit). And when the sun comes up over the mountain, I like to close my eyes and just absorb the sunlight as it gets brighter and warmer. I like to feel the light and warmth fill my mind and body and soul. I envision that I am being enlightened and filled with the spirit and with knowledge and with God's love.

After I mentioned this, my friend, Heather, said that in Sweden (where she served her mission,) the people actually do this in the spring. She said that the winters are so dark and cold so in the spring when the sun comes out, the people will literally stop, close their eyes, look towards the sun and soak in the sunlight. It's called Sola Sig, which means "to Sun oneself".

I just looked it up, and this is what the internet says about Swedish winters: "Winters are cold and dark. It's no secret that Sweden's geographical location makes it prone to cold, dark winters. At the depth of winter in some northern parts of the country above the Arctic Circle, you might get as little as three hours of sunlight per day."

I was curious to hear about this from Heather so I texted her and asked if this is true and she said "Yes! I was in the very southern part of Sweden during the 2 winters I was there and it would get light around 9:30 - 10 am and start getting dark again around 3 in the afternoon. So up north It'd be even less light!"

That is so crazy to me! And it totally makes sense to me why the people would love spring so much and why they would literally stop to take in the sunlight.

I also asked Heather if during the rest of the year it's light for a long amount of time and she said "It was really hard for me. I don't like the cold and the dark. But the one summer I was there was amazing! I wouldn't even see the sun go down at all!" She sent me a photo of her from her mission where she is standing in front of a window and the sun is just setting. She's holding a paper that says "10:00 pm"

This is so fascinating to me! It helps to give me more info about my Swedish ancestor's lives (I'm 1/4 Swedish) and also I love the sola sig tradition - especially since I have been doing this, without even realizing the Swedish tradition. It helps me to feel more connected to my ancestors. :)

When I was talking to J about this last night, I was telling him about how one reason why I love watching the sunrise is because it means that it's a new day. I love watching the sky get brighter and brighter and brighter. I love the symbolism of that and applying that to growth, development, and knowledge.

I have also had times when I like the literal aspect of it being a new day. There are nights, like when J is out of town, or we are camping, etc. where the night feels sooooo long and every time I wake up in the middle of the night, I just can't wait for the sun to start coming up again.

In the case of J being out of town, I hate being alone, especially at night. I hate the darkness. So I can't wait for the world to get bright again, it feels less scary in the light.

In the case of camping, I am just so anxious for it to get light again so I can get up. I don't love the sleeping aspect of camping. One, I don't really love being in the middle of no where, in the dark, with who knows what animals and such running around outside. And two, because sleeping isn't all that comfortable when I'm camping - and you never know if the kids are going to let me sleep well or not anyway.

So with both of these examples, when the sun comes up, I just feel so grateful for a new day - for surviving the night. I think that this can be a great symbol for those times in our lives that feel dark and scary and lonely. And then we have a moment (or multiple moments) where the light starts to come on and our world begins to get brighter and warmer again.

Lessons from the Book of Mormon: Burying Weapons of War and Neuropathways

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This morning I was reading the Book of Mormon with L. We were reading the story about the Anti-Nephi-Lehies burying their weapons of war. I was talking to L (and P) about how when we make a choice for the first time, sometimes it is a little bit hard because we have to consciously act. But if we keep making that choice over and over again, eventually the choice becomes really easy. Sometimes we don't even realize that we are making the choice until we have already acted on the thought (that we didn't realize we were thinking.) It just becomes automatic. This is good, in the case of good choices, but bad in the case of bad choices. Habits are hard to break -especially bad habits. I explained to the boys about neuropathways in our brains and how the more we make a choice, the "deeper" that "groove" or pathway gets in our brain. Change is possible, we can re-wire our brains., but it takes time, it takes hard work, it takes cleansing and sanctification through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

It also requires us to replace that bad habit with a good habit, and then we need to practice that good habit over and over and over and over again - until it becomes natural and automatic. And then we need to continue to practice and practice. For some reason, a good habit, that has been in the making for a long time - weeks, months, years, even decades - can be lost in a minute. Where bad habits seem to die a slow, painful, death. I'm not sure they ever die completely - unless we are healed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ- and we are consistently working to not return to that bad habit that we once had.

So then I taught them about why the Anti-Neph-Lehies buried their weapons of war. Because they had made the choice to murder so many times before, it was so easy for them. And if they were faced with their enemies again or if they succumbed to anger, it would be easy for them to make that choice of bloodshed again. It would be kind of second nature to them. So in order to get rid of that temptation, in order to not have that option anymore, they buried their weapons.

Then the boys and I talked about what some of our individual weapons are and how we can work on burying them and replacing them with good habits instead.

Alma 24: 10-19

10 And I also thank my God, yea, my great God, that he hath granted unto us that we might repent of these things, and also that he hath forgiven us of those our many sins and murders which we have committed, and taken away the guilt from our hearts, through the merits of his Son.

11 And now behold, my brethren, since it has been all that we could do (as we were the most lost of all mankind) to repent of all our sins and the many murders which we have committed, and to get God to take them away from our hearts, for it was all we could do to repent sufficiently before God that he would take away our stain—

12 Now, my best beloved brethren, since God hath taken away our stains, and our swords have become bright, then let us stain our swords no more with the blood of our brethren.

13 Behold, I say unto you, Nay, let us retain our swords that they be not stained with the blood of our brethren; for perhaps, if we should stain our swords again they can no more be washed bright through the blood of the Son of our great God, which shall be shed for the atonement of our sins.

14 And the great God has had mercy on us, and made these things known unto us that we might not perish; yea, and he has made these things known unto us beforehand, because he loveth our souls as well as he loveth our children; therefore, in his mercy he doth visit us by his angels, that the plan of salvation might be made known unto us as well as unto future generations.

15 Oh, how merciful is our God! And now behold, since it has been as much as we could do to get our stains taken away from us, and our swords are made bright, let us hide them away that they may be kept bright, as a testimony to our God at the last day, or at the day that we shall be brought to stand before him to be judged, that we have not stained our swords in the blood of our brethren since he imparted his word unto us and has made us clean thereby.

16 And now, my brethren, if our brethren seek to destroy us, behold, we will hide away our swords, yea, even we will bury them deep in the earth, that they may be kept bright, as a testimony that we have never used them, at the last day; and if our brethren destroy us, behold, we shall go to our God and shall be saved.

17 And now it came to pass that when the king had made an end of these sayings, and all the people were assembled together, they took their swords, and all the weapons which were used for the shedding of man’s blood, and they did bury them up deep in the earth.

18 And this they did, it being in their view a testimony to God, and also to men, that they never would use weapons again for the shedding of man’s blood; and this they did, vouching and covenanting with God, that rather than shed the blood of their brethren they would give up their own lives; and rather than take away from a brother they would give unto him; and rather than spend their days in idleness they would labor abundantly with their hands.

19 And thus we see that, when these Lamanites were brought to believe and to know the truth, they were firm, and would suffer even unto death rather than commit sin; and thus we see that they buried their weapons of peace, or they buried the weapons of war, for peace.

Wondering About a Stranger

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Here are some thoughts that I had (spurred by something that a sister shared) during our Relief Society lesson today...

One of the sisters shared a brief story about how about a decade ago, her brother was in the news - and not in a good way. I think he was in prison for something. Anyway, she said that that experience has taught her to be more compassionate and less judgmental of others because even though people thought that her brother was a horrible person, she knew that he wasn't. She knew that that isn't who he really is. He had made some bad choices, but at his core, he was not a bad person. She talked about how the Savior knows who we really are. He knows our hearts.

This is something that I have thought a lot about recently (every once in a while over the past few years.) I know that we make a lot of choices that are not in line with who we really are. But that doesn't make us bad people. The sinner is not the sin. Our actions are influenced so much by our backgrounds, childhoods, pasts, etc. That isn't an excuse or license to do whatever we want and it doesn't make bad choices right or ok by any means, but we need to have a lot more compassion (for ourselves and for others.) We really are all doing the best that we can - sometimes our brains just aren't functioning at their highest level and then our best isn't always good or righteous or acceptable.

This made me think of something that I have been learning from Jody (my life coach.) She talks about being interested in other people and either asking them (or just thinking in your head) about Them - the other person. Wonder what is in his heart. Wonder what makes her tick, what his hobbies and interests are, what her mission in life is. Wonder about who they really are.

I practiced this a little bit at the airport last week when we were waiting for our flight to Boston. I was sitting across from this guy (he was probably in his young 20s?) and I was just sitting there thinking and wondering about him. For a brief moment, I felt connected to him - he didn't feel like a random stranger, mixed in with the millions of other strangers at the airport that I would never see again (groups of strangers almost don't feel like real people to me, it's weird.). He started to feel real and I started to feel that sense of eternal siblinghood. The moment wasn't much - but it was just a little glimpse. That little glimpse was eye opening and exciting. I want to practice this more often with strangers.

Planning Delights and Being Intentional

So I am taking my second semester of Wife for Life University right now. I'm about halfway through this semester. This week's class was the one about Delights again. (If you don't know what delights are, this post explains it.) One thought that I had today during class was about how, for me at least, planning my delights and being intentional would be helpful. I have a journal called The 5 Minute Journal (it really does only take 5 minutes.) One of the sections on each page says "What would make today great?" And then there are 3 numbered lines for me to write down some things that I could do that day to make it a great day. These are things that I have control over (i.e. I can't control if it's gonna be a nice warm sunny day, so I wouldn't write that.) 

I was thinking that I should start writing my 3 delights down (during my early morning routine) so that I can plan for them and be more likely to make them happen. 

Another thought that I had was about potentially creating some themes or categories for my delights. I am all for the little delights like painting my nails, eating chocolate, etc. I'm not against those kind of delights at all. But I was also thinking about diving a little deeper into my heart and mind and asking myself "what really fills me up?" What are some things that always (or at least like 95% of the time) add meaning and value to my life and really bring me joy? They don't have to be big, I still think pocket sized is good. 

An example is service. Doing an act of service, when I am willing and have my heart in the right place, always fills me up and gives me joy. Another example is being outside. Stepping outside for a few minutes (or longer) and soaking in the fresh air and sunshine always gives me joy. 

So I was thinking, what if I make some themes/categories like service, physical, spiritual, emotional, mental and put my delights into these categories. Then every morning, I can pick 3 of these delights (from different categories) and plan to do those delights that day. This will help me to be intentional, and also to have some balance with my delights.

So that's my plan. I'll let you know how it goes. :)